I'm Gretel and This is My Brother, Handsome.

I-I meant Hansel, of course. The movie is starred by Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton, who looks a lot like Cobie Smulders (who I keep referring to as Robin Scherbatsky). The duo play a striking part as Hansel and Gretel. What a wonderful film to see after an amazing birthday.

Hansel and Gretel—or as it's fully known "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters"—was a surprising film to watch. Note: it is rated R. I didn't know this beforehand. I managed to avoid everything that said the rating, but I haven't paid attention to the rating on things since I turned eighteen a few years ago. Ha! How liberating that feels. I just thought that it was going to have the standard amount of action I've been cruising the past few months with movies. I wasn't expecting anything above Avengers level on this one. Believe me when I was surprised by the gore. I wasn't horrified, just caught off guard. This is not your children's movie! Naturally (though there was a newborn in the showing I was at).

I expected it to be scary or creepy because the witches were really frightening or dramatic looking in the trailers. I would say that it's pretty safe on that end. The grotesque nature of the witches, however, is a lovely adaptation. This was a good movie. I'm still waiting to feel Fast Five pumped or Advent Children powerful, but I'm not disappointed what I saw on the 26th. If you have a chance go and see this movie with your friends. It's a definite four/four point five out of five.